I'll just come out and say it: 2023 was bad.
Like, really bad.
I'm at the point now where I'm counting my simplest of blessings: I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my stomach, a family who loves me. This is what I have to be happy about. 2023 was a year of realizations, rumination, and rude awakenings. It was very, very lonely. (I can confidently say that there is no one in my life who I consider a true friend. My romantic situation has been a major source of stress.) There were many tears cried. Lots of anger. Frustration. Ennui. Monotony and repetition, days bleeding into weeks into months into one big muddy mess of a year. My mental and physical health are at a possible all-time low. My self esteem is completely shot. To be honest, I don't even know who I am anymore. It has most certainly NOT been my year.
That should explain why I haven't been tending to this blog very much. This year's post count is pretty spare compared to the others. I simply haven't had the energy. I love writing and taking photos for these posts, but it's one of the hallmarks of depression: losing interest in the things you like to do. Quite honestly, just getting my nails done at all has been a little difficult. Ever since I started with gel/acrylic overlays in August, my nail routine has become much more complicated. Removing and replacing the gel, which needs to be done every three weeks or so, takes three hours at the very least. It's done wonders for my nails, but it's a serious chore to maintain.
(Color is Zoya Prim.) Speaking of my nails, they're looking pretty, um... "short". Wink wink, nudge nudge. I can't jinx it. Every time I say they look... "bad", something happens to them. But seriously, aren't they "awful"? That's the gel overlay for ya. There have been a couple of small side splits here and there, but nothing that can't be fixed with a dab of nail glue. The only downside is that the thickness and length of my nails make some tasks near impossible. Trying to open the clasp on a necklace is an exercise in patience. Forget about picking a coin or credit card up off the floor. I'd be able to put up with all of this if not for one thing. This always happens when my nails get "short" and it annoys me to no end.
What did I do to deserve this? The nail itself is perfectly square, but the corner curls in something fierce. All of my nails do this to some extent (except for my ring fingers, for whatever reason), but my left thumb here exemplifies it best. I don't know why this happens or if there's a way to fix it. Moisturizing doesn't seem to help – even when drenched in jojoba oil, that stupid corner won't unfurl. The only time it cooperates is after I've taken a shower. Only when it's completely saturated with water does it loosen up. So maybe it is a moisturization issue. Maybe soaking my nails in oil five times a day would fix it... but let's be real here, who has time for that? I never understand when people talk about keeping nail oil everywhere, especially at the desk. Doesn't the oil get everywhere? Or maybe they don't mind having a greasy keyboard? Who knows? Not me.
Here's a top-down perspective. Kind of a weird picture, I know – my finger sort of looks like E.T. wearing a lopsided baseball cap. Come on, tell me you see it too! Anyway, this is another great demonstration of this maddening curve in my nail. Look at how it droops on the left side, curling in far more than on the right. I've seen these metal clamps made to straighten out ingrown toenails and I have to wonder if something like that would work in this case. Oh, well... truth be told, I'm thinking of cutting them anyway. Not too much, just a small trim. They're becoming unwieldy! We're also coming into winter, AKA dark creme season, which I don't like the look of on... okay, I'll say it now,
long nails. I just want to wear my vampy purples and reds, dammit!
I know this was a long, ranting kind of post, but trust me when I say that I needed to let it all out. No one really reads this blog anyway, so what's the harm in baring my soul? Here's hoping that 2024 brings better days for us all. And until next time... happy holidays, and peace out!
