Today marks a first for the Poetically Polished blog: a non-nail polish related post! This is not my first go at cosmetics blogging, though – that would be a now-archived page called "The Cosmetics Critic" which saw about 1.5 drafted posts before I gave up. I will admit that I am not nearly as into makeup as I once was. To be frank, I have become quite disillusioned with the very nature of the makeup industry and no longer feel the need to participate. Nail polish is a different story in my book – no one sees your hands more than you, so what is the harm in adorning your phalanges with pretty colors? With the exception of bathroom mirrors and shop windows, though, you almost never see your own face... so really, who are you applying makeup for? The advent of makeup influencers has only exacerbated this phenomenon, as the pressure to buy pricy makeup and never leave the house without a full face of it has mounted. I know what you're thinking now: this chick is crazy, or a total hippie, or both... but this is how I feel.
Even with this mindset, the one thing I've never truly been able to let go of are tinted chapsticks and lip gloss. I can't stand the feeling of dried-out lips, and I'm only human after all... I can't resist a bit of sparkle from time to time. So when I saw this lot of vintage Wet 'n' Wild Megaslicks lip glosses, I kind of couldn't resist.
I'm reading your mind again now: did she just say "vintage lip gloss"? That's nasty! I have another unpopular beauty secret for you: unless it looks/smells/tastes off, I will use a lip product, no matter how old it is. I have yet to run into any problems. I also have plenty of other glosses from this line that are approximately the same age (~15-20 years old), and I've used them plenty of times. Alright, enough of me yapping about my makeup hang-ups, and let's get into the glosses!
I bought this lot of 9 glosses from eBay (which you can grab
here: shipping was wicked fast and they arrived packaged nicely with a lovely thank-you card, so I'd highly recommend). 3 have since found new homes: Crystal Clear and Sheerly Cocoa with my sister, and Strawberry Ice with my mom (I already have that one). As for the remaining six, I have swatched them on my arm and tried them on my lips, and I will be giving fairly-detailed descriptions of the color and opacity. Having a lot of prior experience with the Wet 'n' Wild Megaslicks line, I can say that these are great glosses. Utilitarian packaging, awesome price, and the more opaque colors last for hours on the lips. My favorite is Sinless, a super-80s light pink that is as frosty as frost can get. That one may actually be my all-time favorite lip gloss. Anyways, let's get on to these bad boys...
594 Iced Blue is a sheer blue-purple base with blueish iridescent glitter. It has a pretty generic lip gloss-y smell and taste, not at all offensive. As you can see, there is not a lot of color payoff. The gloss lends the expected sheen to the lips and the glitter particles do show up nicely; however, they are a little gritty when rubbing the lips together, a problem I noticed with the other WnW glitter gloss that I own, Crushed Grapes. If this textural issue does not bother you, then this makes for a very fun disco-ball sparkly look.
575 Sheer Coral is a sheer (obviously) light peach with pink and gold shimmer. It has a pleasant strawberry-like smell/taste. It also does not have a lot of color payoff; a light shimmer is all that shows up on the lips. Easy to reach for when you are looking for simplicity.
568 Bronzed Berry is a red-tinged bronze shimmer, verging on frost. This one actually has a worrying and offensive smell/taste to it – at first I thought it was supposed to be a melon scent, but it smells and tastes like wet paint (weird, considering it is newer than Sheer Coral, as evidenced by the updated logo on the tube). What a shame, too, because this is a lovely and very opaque color. That's what you get for playing with fire.
569 Orange Twist is a loud orange with gold shimmer. It has the same scent/taste as Iced Blue. This was the one I was second most excited for, and I'm glad it turned out not to be a dud – it has pretty good opacity and is such a funky, unexpected choice of lip color. I see this one getting regular use!
560 Magenta Flash is a medium pink with the same opaque shimmer-verging-on-frost finish as Bronzed Berry. Unfortunately, it also shares BB's wet-paint odor. This color was doing me no favors, though, so I'm not crushed to see it go.
562A Delectable was my most wanted color from this lot, a greyed-out mauvy purple with pink shimmer. It has no discernible smell/taste, which I suppose is a good thing. It unfortunately does not have the opacity I was hoping for; I had thought it might be a frost finish, which would make it my perfect lip gloss. Sadly, is more along the lines of Sheer Coral, with light pigmentation that only hints at purple; however, it does have a stronger shimmer, making it more visible than SC. While it is not the gloss of my dreams, I can see it in my regular rotation.
So what have we learned? Most of these are perfectly fine, but the other third smell like they shouldn't be anywhere near a person's lips. I can't say I'm totally surprised... I knew someday my good-luck streak would be broken. You are taking a risk when you try out product this old, after all, and sometimes it does not always go in your favor. I've encountered the unfortunate fact of expiration in my other hobbies, too; truly rank vintage perfumes, old candles that don't smell quite right or smell at all. But there have been my successes, too; 4/6 of the glosses I tried today, vintage perfumes that have aged like fine wine, candles with fragrances that have only grown richer with time. Sometimes it's worth it to take a chance on older items, but only if you won't be hurting for money after. Don't spend hundreds on a 70s Chanel that might smell like piss, okay? I haven't been there, but it happens!
And until next time... stay glossy!
P.S. I know this post was a little more ranty and ravey than I usually get, but you know what, I enjoy a more stream-of-consciousness approach to writing... and no one reads this damn blog anyway. :P
